So I have been with my boyfriend for about two months now. Honestly, I trust him 100% and do not think he is cheating but he seriously sucks at texting sometimes. The rational cool headed side of me knows this is just who he is and how he communicates (I don’t question a thing when we’re together) but the insecure, friend’s giving me advice, crazy in love, girl side of me thinks… if he really liked me he would make time for the “good morning” and “goodnight baby” texts.
So here is the thought process of a woman… please note that I, like most every woman out there, am ruled by hormones and ergo my emotions. Some of us hide it better than others. Trust me, my girlfriends know how nuts I am, but my man does not (we save that for at least 6 months in when we feel like you are stuck with us). My thoughts in italics. My 5:00 pm text was sent 5 minutes after a text from him.
5:00 pm: “How was your day?”
5:05 pm: Okay, you must have put your phone down.
5:15 pm: Okay, maybe you are getting dressed for the gym.
5:30 pm: You are clearly at the gym.
5:40 pm: Must be bball with the boys night at the gym.
5:50 pm: Alright, you must be wrapping up at the gym. We are still cool, it hasn’t been an hour.
6:00 pm: You should be texting me back any minute now.
6:15 pm: Yup… any minute.
6:30 pm: *Reading back text convo for the 10th time* Did I say something wrong? Was I too eager?
6:45 pm: Okay asshole, it is a one word response.
7:00 pm: Two hours is absolutely the cut off! WTF is going on over there? Did you die?
7:15 pm: Check all of his social media to make sure he hasn’t posted anything.
7:30 pm: Did you get into a car accident? Are you dead? That is the only acceptable excuse right now.
8:00 pm: Well I guess I am single yet again.
8:30 pm: *Half a bottle of wine and 2 joints later while listening to my sad breakup song playlist* What a piece of shit. I can’t even believe I wasted my time on him. I don’t need a man anyway.
8:45 pm: Check his social media again.
9:00 pm: I have now called all 4 of my girlfriends (one of which being my sister) and they all agree he is a loser and I don’t need this in my life. When he does text me back, I will confirm that I do not need this shit and we will break up.
9:30 pm: *Re-reading our text convo for the 40th time.* Time to move on.
9:45 pm: To the boy that I keep on the hook (I would never hook up with him but he still loves me): “Hey, How’s it going?” –Of course he immediately responds– See I am loved. People respond to me. If you could only see how quick and eager he was to text me back. I am desirable.
10:00 pm: Okay it is almost time for him to go to bed. There is no way he will go to bed without responding to me.
10:15 pm: If he responds in the next hour before bed, this will all be forgotten and we will move on.
10:20 pm: Another social media check.
10:30 pm: Maybe I’ll just make a Tinder. You know, swipe for the self confidence. See all of these horny losers want to message me!
11:00 pm: Text my girlfriends once more. “No he hasn’t responded. Can you believe it? Yes, he is a total loser. Don’t worry I am going to ditch him. I know, I know… I am way too pretty, smart and funny to be treated like this. I deserve to be someone’s priority.”
11:30 pm: *The wine is all gone* Fine, I’ll just take a Xanax and go to bed then. I know you’ll text me in the morning telling me how sorry you are.”
Midnight: One last social media check and re-read of the text convo.
8:30 am: Nothing yet. He doesn’t usually wake up until around 9am. Must still be sleeping.
9:00 am: Any minute now.
9:30 am: Guess he is just sleeping in today.
10:00 am: Before lunch and we are good.
10:30 am: Seriously wtf is going on over there?
11:00 am: Okay I know damn well you are up, showered and have probably already visited your first customer.
11:30 am: Seriously, if you don’t text me back before noon we are done.
11:55 am: – A message from him: “Hey babe. How is your day going? Can’t wait to see you tonight. What do you want to do?”
Noon: -My response: “Hey. It’s going great. I don’t care what we do tonight.”
‘Never let ’em see you sweat.’
But for real… after this happened twice, a convo was had about my needs and he has been very responsive. I may be a pushover in love sometimes but I will not forget how I deserve to be treated and I do have limits!